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Ode to our IT Tech Support!!

I was having dinner with Rudy & Merv one night when Merv receivd another call for help to fix some IT problem. We realise since that Merv have done this so much, he shoud have his very own theme song and thus without much further ado, introducing our very own original (somewhat :P) song called “Lee Kee Choong”. PS comments and feedback are welcome 🙂

Note: Sung to the tune of Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.

“Lee Kee Choong!

If there’s something strange in the old notebook
Who you gonna call?
Lee Kee Choong!
If there’s something wrong and it just won’t boot
Who you gonna call?
Lee Kee Choong!

I ain’t afraid of no code
I ain’t afraid of no code

If you’re seeing things running through your screen
Who can you call?
Lee Kee Choong!
An invisible code running in your com
Oh, who you gonna call?
Lee Kee Choong!

I ain’t afraid of no code
I ain’t afraid of no code

Who you gonna call?
Lee Kee Choong!
If you really dont know, pick up the phone
And call
Lee Kee Choong!

I ain’t afraid of no code
I hear it likes Windows
I ain’t afraid of no code
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call?
Lee Kee Choong!
If you’ve had a dose of a blue screen woes
You’d better call
Lee Kee Choong!

Let me tell you something
Fixin’ makes Merv feel good

I ain’t afraid of no code
I ain’t afraid of no code

Don’t get caught unknown, oh no
Lee Kee Choong!
When it comes through your port
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
Lee Kee Choong!

Who you gonna call
Lee Kee Choong!
{Repeat to fade} “

Smart Tag – Not so smart eh?

Now a while back Merv had given me a spare Smart Tag unit. For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a device used to facilitate electronic payment at toll booths seamlessly without having to stop your car. The appropriate charge will be debited from your Touch’N’Go card (the item that stores your actual prepaid cash value) which is slotted into the Smart Tag unit, and then you can drive on through.

So I was driving to the mechanic’s and had to go through a toll. Whipped out the Smart Tag unit, drove up to the lane, and a siren sounded whilst the electronic scoreboard by the booth flashed “Unit error – contact admin” or something along those lines. Feeling much chagrined I looked about as a toll worker nearby who had witnessed what occurred came up to me and checked the unit. He then told me, “Battery sudah habis.” (the battery’s flat)

Great…forgot to check that part. With much signaling to the cars who were stuck behind me, everyone inched back to allow me to reverse and go through a Touch’N’Go lane instead.

Learning my lesson then, I made sure to get a brand new battery, popped it into the unit and voila, all set. I didn’t have the chance to test the unit until a week or so later when I had to take a drive towards Kajang. As I approached the Smart Tag lane (there’s typically only _one_ smart tag lane per toll collection center), this Silver Waja came up behind me at high speed, tailgating me very closely. I raised my eyebrows at that but resolved not to lose my temper at another idiotic Malaysian driver (hey, it is Ramadhan after all).

We approached the sensor, there was a beep and voila, I was let through! As I drove away though, I was puzzled since the electronic scoreboard by the sensor showed my Touch’N’Go balance at slightly above 20 Ringgit. I could’ve sworn I still had over 50 Ringgit still on it. I also noticed the Waja stuck at the Smart Tag booth, and was going, “Hah, sucker. That’s retribution for tailgating me like a lunatic driver just as we’re approaching the lane.

My drive toward Kajang proceeded and I hit the second toll collection centre, zoomed into the Smart Tag lane and…a loud siren sounded and the electronic scoreboard showed, “Unit Error!” The expletives that came out of my mouth are not suitable to be shown here. Suffice to say I was extremely annoyed. Reversed the car, went into the Touch’N’Go lane and…hey, I’ve got more then 50 ringgit still in my card.

As I drove away I then realised what must have occurred at the first toll collection center. My Smart Tag unit was obviously faulty in some manner (still not sure why) and that idiot driving the silver Waja had followed so close behind me that it was HIS Smart Tag unit which had caused the toll barrier to go up and let me through. After my car went through the barrier came down once more. And the way the cards function is that they can’t be used again for a short period of time (as I understand it). So he was totally stuck.

On hindsight I do feel a little guilty about what occurred. So if you’re the driver of the silver Waja, I’ll buy you a teh tarik to make up for it. I still say you’re an idiot driver nonetheless though, since you enjoy tailgating that much when we’re already about to come to a near stop.

So anyway, this is a rant against those clowns at Rangkaian Segar Sdn Bhd (the company that sells Touch’N’Go and Smart Tag). Seriously, it’s time you people buck up and talk to the different toll operators. Right now a typical major sized toll collection center will have two Touch’N’Go lanes and one Smart Tag lane. I’d strongly urge them to convert all three to Smart Tag lanes but WITH Touch’N’Go sensors on each lane. If a person’s Smart Tag unit doesn’t function, then they can at least use the Touch’N’Go card and drive on. Right now if it fails we’ve got no choice but to invoke the infamous “gostan” maneuver to get out of the dratted lane. Yeah this may seem detrimental to those who exclusively use Smart Tag alone but hey, we’re trying to promote electronic payment and seamlessness at Toll booths remember? (if you want to experience what it’s like these days, try hitting the Ipoh North and South toll booths during any festive season, as well as the KL toll exit for the KL-Seremban highway)

It’s bad enough you’re still charging an exorbitant price for Smart Tag units (what is it these days? RM180?) considering the fact that it costs what…RM15-20 to manufacter the thing? It was a sad day when the Malaysian government gave you a near virtual monopoly for the bulk of prepaid electronic payment systems in Malaysia. You can try to deny it all you want, but when the Government _APPROVED_ Touch’N’Go functions for all of our Malaysian Identity Cards, what do you think the implacation is?

So blah, Smart Tag….maybe it ain’t so smart after all.

Oh those lovely peanut butter cups

Oh Reese Peanut Butter Cups
How I dream of thee!
Night and day, hour on the hour
thougts of you haunting me!

Nothing can compare to you
not even wet dreams!
That smooth, creamy feeling
of you on my tongue.

That one delightful instance
when all my senses scream
with pleasure most extreme
as you gently slither down my throat.

Oh Reese Peanut Butter Cups
all gone now, all eaten away.
With that damned Myuu
getting four of them!

So what if I had nine
hey I had to work for them!
I shall dream of you
with fond nostalgia

Since those b*stards at Hershey’s
won’t sell them in Malaysia!
How could they be so selfish
to forget us completely!

Farewell then, till the next time
whence a package arrives once more
With you as the contents
waiting to be consumed by me!

“Since when was football ever fair…”

Yep, that line uttered by the commentary would sum up the FA Cup final Arsenal vs Manchester United in a nutshell. MU went down to Arsenal 4-5 on penalty shootout, despite MU clearly being the better team tonight, Arsenal fans, I dare you to disagree.

Oh well…, thats life, u win some, u lose some, even when u don’t deserve it.

Progress on Mandarin

Think we’re actually doing better in class, with less laugh time and more learning time used. One fella one-upped the notch by bringing a chinese-english dictionary (bloody dusty, must have been lying around Kota Raya for a few days), which actually came in use as teacher required us to start writing Chinese. I’ll actually join the big J by realizing that I’m supposed to already start writing IN the boxes of my square lined exercise book. Chung ming, I be not…

Of Kingdoms, Conversations & Decisions…

Hello everyone! My first post ever on a blog! Wheeeee!!!

Anyways it has been an a dull week. Kinda stoned for the most of it, but there were a few interesting highlights. Caught Kingdom of Heaven with some colleagues on Wednesday, like the show but even better was the following conversation in the cinema prior to the start of the show (Names have been changed to protect the identities):-

Author : Normally we would watch the shows on Wednesday. A friend, you know the one who runs the coffeeshop, he gets Monday off and usually gets the tickets in the morning. There you have met him before at the dinner, Jack.

Colleague : Jack, the cute cute one. Yeah I remember him.

Now this seems like a normal conversation, hell Mr.Jack should be beaming with that, HOWEVER… the colleague that made the comment is a GUY and as far as I a straight normal guy. Yes G-man, he is not your kindred spirit. Comments anyone?

On another note, got to make some decisions at work come Monday morning due blunders done at work last week…nevertheless shouldn’t be too hard, just have to convert the “Jenius” to “Genius” 😛

May the force be with you.

Mind Your Language in KL

A new cast, a different language, but all the makings of disaster for a remake of the popular BBC series, “Mind Your Language”.

The cast:
Ms. Han Dan as the venerable Mandarin teacher (who insists Chinese is easier to communicate in than English…right)
The Fish … Lei Wan Yuen
The Datuk … Zhuo IT de ren
The Datuk’s sister … IT ren de mei mei
The Manko Gal … You chien ren
Mr. Pang … Refresher course (sort of)
The Mashi … Who mixes up girl and cow (darn pronunciations)
The Mashi’s sister … Girl, not cow
Mr. Z … Along for the ride, enrolled the day before class

All together now…. NI HAO!
(no, I did not forget to put the intonation strokes…too lazy)

Gold fish memory

An old lady comes to the shop, having ordered for 2 cakes by phone before that. After paying, she asks for the price (which she has done EACH and EVERY single time she comes) and says “Wah…so expensive lar boss”.

This kind of scenario happens ever so often, more often than birdpoo finding its mark in Lucky Gardens. What in the world happened to these people? Where are they when they ask the same question the day before, or the week before? Is it some vile ritual that they simply check off mentally while buying products from any outlet…”Phone booking, collection, payment, gripe about price, act insulted when responded to”. Have to tie up with a company to supply mini-sachets of MemoMax to be provided complimentary with each cake. For the meanwhile, service with a smile and retort, counterretort and counter-counterretort.